Fresh Skills, New Astrological Signs and Things You’re Thinking But Won’t Say.

Today I received a HILARIOUS chain email with a few little witty jokes.  Normally, I delete chain emails because I rarely find them entertaining, but this one was an exception!  For the purpose of keeping this blog worth reading, I deleted the crappy ones.  I bet you are wondering what they were though, huh?

*** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15 is gone.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.   (this post should consider itself lucky that I didnt delete it because I happen to find Kay Jewelers tagline very witty and inventive)

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. not funnnnnnny.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. seeeeeeya

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

 

Big thanks to mamma elle for sending those to me!  Really I’ll do anything to entertain myself for the “lull” hour.  2-4p… the worst. You’re sleepy from lunch and you just had the false sense of freedom for an hour.  430p you start to panic a little because you realize there was actually a lot of stuff to be done and you were too busy…..blogging?

Anyway, I’m sure everyone has heard about this new astrological sign.  Ophiuchus.

This guy looks like a badass.

NEW ZODIAC SIGN CHART

Capricorn
January 20- to February 16

Aquarius
February 16 to March 11

Pisces
March 11 to April 18.

Aries
April 18 to May 13

Taurus
May 13 to June 21.

Gemini
June 21 to July 20

Cancer
July 20 to August 10

Leo
August 10 to September 16

Virgo
September 16 to October 30

Libra
October 30 to November 23

Scorpio
November 23 to November 29

Ophiuchus
November 29 to December 17

Sagittarius
December 17 to January 20

This really opens the flood gates for tattoo regret.  Oohhhh wow, you’re a Cancer now.  I’m sure that Lion’s head could be transformed really easily though.

And why is this just coming out now?  Is it because the world is ending in 2012 anyway, so they just want to lighten up the media topics?  Can’t find any fault in that.  Who wants to hear about dead black birds falling out of the sky, rising gas prices and the risks of childhood obesity.

Who really knows if all the astrological stuff really makes any sense?  I sorta feel like people blame their bad traits on their “sign” as if that’s an acceptable excuse.  Oh wow, I’m being a total b*tch, that’s just the Virgo in me!  Oh wow, you’re right, I am judging you, I’m such a Gemini!

Well guess what?  It’s not the stars that happen to be in the sky the day you are born that effect your personality, it’s how great of a job your parents did raising you mixed with how much money you have.  So relax everyone, life will go on.

But now that I’m a Leo, I can get away with being a little more self centered….so….posted below are some of my creations from cake and pottery class.  ME ME ME.

OK FINE, that last picture is not of me, it’s the Cake Boss, but you get the idea.

I’ll leave you with some songs about stars!

Stars – Elevator Love Letter

Everclear – Pale Green Stars

Paris Hilton – Stars are Blind

Jack Johnson – Stars in Heaven

xoxo shu

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3 thoughts on “Fresh Skills, New Astrological Signs and Things You’re Thinking But Won’t Say.

  1. I laughed REALLY hard a LOT of times while reading this. I might need you to guest blog on my site, like now. It would add some much needed comic relief to my relatively uninteresting DIY recaps.

  2. Ok, I completely identify with #17: I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. I guess it isn’t as important now that I don’t live in Philadelphia, but seriously…they should get on that.

    Secondly, your cakes are AMAZING.

  3. Astrology consists of a number of belief systems which hold that there is a relationship between astronomical phenomena and events in the human world. In the West, astrology most often consists of a system of horoscopes that claim to explain aspects of a person’s personality and predict future events in their life based on the positions of the sun, moon, and other planetary objects at the time of their birth. Many cultures have attached importance to astronomical events, and the Indians, Chinese, and Mayans developed elaborate systems for predicting terrestrial events from celestial observations.’

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